The British Connection - An Interview

Pretty much any expat, whatever country they originally come from, will find themselves craving an item from "home." Fortunately, there are enterprising individuals who see the opportunity in supplying such items. The British Connection is a store in Absecon, New Jersey, run by Dave Brown, an expat originally from London, and his American Wife Barbara. After running their store in Historic Smithville Village for seven years, they moved about a year ago to the new location, where they have been able to expand their business, adding a large selection of cheeses and a small cafe. Barbara very kindly allowed me to bombard her with questions.


With an entertainment background, Dave first met Barbara when he was running a karaoke night in London. After he tried to drag her up on stage with him, she thought he was "a bit cheeky, but called him anyway." They came to the US to pursue entertainment opportunities in the casinos in Atlantic City, NJ. Unfortunately, they found the casinos had been converting their lounges to slot-machine parlors. Making the best of it, they started an entertainment business, doing children's shows and parties. Barbara was, quite literally, a clown - also "Minnie Mouse, Cinderella...and a Teletubby." During a visit to Barbara's parents in Florida, her Mother suggested they visit a store called The Brit Shoppe. The couple "were amazed to find some of our foods we missed from the U.K.! Three months later, the British Connection was up and running!"

I asked Barbara about some of their own favorite British foods. Barbara said she loves HP Sauce and Branston Pickle, while "Dave is all about the chocolates and bacon!" On the question of "Marmite: Love it or Hate it?" they are the exception to the rule; they both "like" it. Asked whether there was something she'd like to explain to their customers, given the opportunity, Barbara said "it's o.k. to laugh at the spotted dick...everyone does!" One question that Barbara is often asked is why she hasn't got a British accent; Dave gets asked what part of Australia he comes from! Barbara believes that most of their customers are expat Brits, but she admitted, "maybe they just come in more often." One of the recent additions was a cafe area, where Barbara often relaxes and has a cup of tea and a chat with her regulars: "I have to say the people that come in are really wonderful and great conversationalists. Part of the reason that I created the cafe section was so that we could sit and have a cuppa."

When asked what they miss about life in England, it came as no surprise to me that Barbara mentioned pubs. Although they enjoy relaxing over a meal and drinks with friends, they don't have a favorite bar in the US, but they do have friends with pubs in the UK: "The Hare and Hounds in Godstone is good fun, and another friend in London owned a pub called Novello's in Fulham. She had an Elvis impersonator there 2 nights a week for 10 years, Brilliant!" I asked Barbara about how often they got to visit England: "Not as often as we would like. We try to get there once a year, but we do like to travel to other locales...so sometimes we miss a year. We usually have visitors every year - we keep the guest rooms ready!"

Have you visited the store? Do you have any favorite places to get international foods? Let me know.

A Big Fuss Over Nothing: England 2010 Part 1

We generally get to visit England about once every eighteen months, and about once every three years we get to visit over Christmas. A slight logistical problem where my Wife works meant that we had to visit over New Year instead of Christmas itself.

There were two main concerns we had before and during our trip this time: Flight security and the weather. The failed attempt to bring down an airliner on Christmas day resulted in changes to security procedures. It looked like flights coming into the US were where most changes were taking place, so before we left, we were keeping an eye on the latest news. Flights were being delayed, and the carry-on baggage allowance for planes into the US was reduced, both in maximum size and in number of items. Since the Christmas Day incident involved someone spending a long time in the bathroom, then attempting to explode chemicals in their lap, there were also stories about passengers being forced to stay in their seats with nothing in their laps for the final hour of flights. That particularly concerned us, since we were flying with a five-year-old. We also heard that the in-flight entertainment might be disabled, so no-one would know when we were actually over US airspace.

We hoped that these measures would be relaxed during the two weeks we were in England, and that was, thankfully, the case. My Father got worried, however, when he saw a news story about a student at Newark airport who went past the security point to kiss his girlfriend, which led to a huge incident. I think my Father thought that I might be arrested for kissing my Wife! In fact, the security seemed to be pretty much the same as we had experienced in the past, and neither of our flights were delayed.

Generally speaking, the weather in New Jersey is more extreme than in England. We have colder winters, with more snow, and the summers are hotter and more humid. We left New Jersey with snow on the ground, and by the time we returned, the snow had gone. England, however, was experiencing record cold weather, and lots of snow! While by New Jersey standards it wasn't that bad, England is not used to much in the way of snow and ice, and therefore does not invest in the equipment and measures that other places do. Therefore, the entire country grinds to a halt if there are more than a few flakes of snow on the ground. During our trip, the news was full of weather-related stories, such as the sharing and rationing of the grit used to keep the roads free of ice, and worries that important exams might have to be canceled because of school closures.

The poor weather did mean that the bulk of our vacation was spent at my parents' house, and not getting out and about doing the fun things we usually get up to. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing. We were forced to take a much-needed break doing pretty much nothing. The weather improved towards the end of our visit, which allowed us to take a planned side-trip to Wales (more about that in a future entry), and meant that our journey home was problem-free.

It's great to be back writing for my blog again. I'd love to hear from you, so please do make a comment. Did you travel over the holidays? How did things go for you?

An Englishman in San Diego - The Home Stretch

Once we had moved to the Sheraton Hotel and Marina for my Wife's conference, my daughter and I were alone during the day. I decided it was time to relax and not try to do quite so much each day. The first day (the seventh of our vacation), we had a lazy day at the hotel, watching TV, reading, playing and so on. We went down to the hotel lobby for a while, so I could take advantage of the free Wi-Fi there (it was $12 per day in the room, despite the entire marina area having a free Wi-Fi service, which the Sheraton blocked).

In the evening, once my Wife had finished for the day, we headed out to San Diego's Old Town district. This historic area has lots of restaurants, many of them Mexican, and many interesting places to see, especially in its Old Town State Historic Park. The park contains period buildings, some in their original locations and some that were moved in. Old Town also contains The Whaley House, supposedly the most haunted house in the United States. We were in the area to soak up the atmosphere and eat Mexican food.

The next day (Tuesday), my daughter and I spent time at Balboa Park. This beautiful and expansive park contains 15 museums and many other attractions. Many of the buildings in the park were originally built as temporary structures for the 1915-1916 Panama-California Exposition, and have since been rebuilt. Upon arriving there, we discovered that the day you visit is extremely important, if you have specific things you want to see. I had heard about the narrow-gauge railway and the carousel, and hoped to take my daughter there, but upon arrival, I found that they were only open on Sundays. A local Mom I spotted there suggested that my daughter might enjoy The Reuben H. Fleet Science Center, so that is where we went next. This museum, with its many interactive exhibits, was a lot of fun, and I highly recommend it. After we ate lunch, we headed for the Marie Hitchcock Puppet Theater, which we discovered closed on Mondays and Tuesdays! Still, the park has a lot to offer and it is worth spending the entire day there.

My daughter and I spent the day before we were due to leave, relaxing in the marina area and the hotel. We had breakfast at Papanani's Deli at the marina, where we discovered the antidote to the hotel's expensive offerings. The food was delicious and the people were friendly. They put on children's TV for my daughter and I had unblocked access to the marina's free Wi-Fi!

In the evening, the family went down to Seaport Village for our final San Diego dinner, this time at Buster's Beach House & Longboard Bar. This fun bar and restaurant has a Hawaiian theme, and the food and beer are both great. I ate (and thoroughly recommend) the Pork Luau and Macadamia Nut-Crusted Chicken. I enjoyed Firehouse Pale Ale, brewed by firefighters who use the proceeds to support the widows and families of firefighters and to provide equipment to local firehouses.

That wonderful meal marked the end of our San Diego vacation. By six the next morning, we were reluctantly on our way to the airport, for the smooth and trouble-free flight back to New Jersey. Thank you San Diego, for making us feel so welcome.

I hope you have enjoyed this little series documenting the wonderful time we had in San Diego. Are you familiar with the area? Would you like to visit? Please do post comments or questions - I would love to hear from you.

Interview With an Englishman

In a recent post, I mentioned that I'd been interviewed for Cindy's Country Corner, a blog I often enjoy reading. Cindy has now posted the interview on her blog. She's a former newspaper editor, and her experience shows, since she managed to ask me a great set of questions that prompted me to share quite a bit.

Read the interview here.

The Center - Renewing a Sense of Community

In my recent blog post How I Got To Know My Community by Getting Involved, I described the origins of a nonprofit group I have been a member of since I moved to the US, The Center For Community Renewal. I wanted to describe a little more about what "The Center" has done over its history, because unfortunately, the organization could soon fold.

The Mission Statement of The Center is "Foster and support local, grassroots initiatives that strengthen communities and neighborhoods by providing financial, volunteer, educational and consulting resources not readily available elsewhere." Ian Durand, the Executive Director, brought together a group of local people who were involved with different nonprofit groups in the area. Our meetings often consisted of brainstorming sessions where we discussed projects of our own respective organizations or of others, and how to solve some of the problems that arose. Because the members have always had a wide range of experience, wonderful symbiotic relationships developed. Whatever the problem or challenge, there was usually someone who had found an answer, had good information to share, or could come up with some good ideas.

We initiated our own projects. Among the most successful were several series of "mini-grants." These were small awards of up to $500 made to a local organization or individual in order to get a grassroots project going. The recipients of these grants had a great idea that would generally help to foster a sense of community, but were not likely to receive money from elsewhere. Ideally, we wanted the awards to help get a project off the ground in a way that could be sustained. We also offered the recipients advice and support.

One such project, "Heavenly Angels," started with a very detailed application from its founder, Linda Seickel, for under $100 for materials (yarn, etc.). Linda wanted to make clothes, blankets and related items for premature babies in local hospitals and burial gowns for those who had died. We asked her what she might be able to do with $500. Eight years later, Heavenly Angels has made and donated well over twenty thousand items. Another recipient was a woman who wanted to put together and give "kitchen start-up kits" to households in Manville, NJ who had lost everything in Hurricane Floyd.

Another project of The Center was something we called "Passport to Edison." This was a weekend event designed to help familiarize Edisonians with the different parts of our Town and local organizations. We set up "checkpoints" at places of significance around Edison Township. Collaborating with different township groups, we "stamped the passports" of people traveling around town, the idea being to collect all the stamps. We produced a guidebook to Edison to accompany this event.

A few years ago, Ian Durand and his Wife April Cormaci decided to move to Canada. Up until now, The Center has survived, but in a much scaled-down version. Members have taken turns to facilitate meetings. We did offer a round of mini-grants, and organized a round-table discussion and networking event for local groups. However, without Ian and April at the helm, there have been problems. The couple supported the organization financially, so when they moved, our group was without a revenue stream. In addition, we are so heavily involved with our own projects and organizations that we are unable to devote the amount of time The Center deserves.

At the most recent meeting, we started discussing whether to continue The Center or not. It is looking like the Center may not be around for much longer. I am personally very upset about this, as we have done some wonderful things, but I can see that without a dedicated leader and a revenue stream, it really cannot continue in its current form.

I am already thinking about the possibility of starting another group or project to keep the spirit of The Center alive. I want to preserve some of the best parts of the organization. This would probably include offering small grants to great projects that might not otherwise get grant money, and creating opportunities for nonprofit organizations, community groups and individuals to build useful relationships with one another. Of course, it would need to be financed in some way. There is also the issue of people having the time to participate. It is possible that there could be a role for Social Media and other ways for people to get involved virtually.

I would love to hear your opinions or any input you might have about this idea. Please post a comment.

How I Got To Know My Community by Getting Involved

As I have written before, when I first moved to the United States in 1998, I was unable to work, since I was awaiting approval of my work permit. I didn't relish watching daytime soaps until I could work, so I started looking around to see what was happening in my new hometown. One day, I spotted a newspaper article about a local organization called "The Center For Community Renewal." I was intrigued, but a little wary that the group might be full of right-wing nutjobs who wanted to gentrify the town. The article included a telephone number, so I decided to call up to get a feel for the organization and what they were doing.

The person I talked to invited me to the group's next meeting, and I accepted. When I attended, I found a roomful of ordinary people, mostly involved with other local nonprofit and community groups. What they had in common was a feeling that Edison, New Jersey, along with many other places was suffering from a lack of community. Led by a Husband and Wife team, Ian Durand and April Cormaci, the group was brainstorming ideas about projects and programs that they thought might help foster a renewed sense of community.

Being part of this group led to a number of things for me. The people, in what was usually referred to just as "The Center," represented a wide range of people in the area, and I found out a lot about Edison very quickly. I made some excellent friends, people who are still friends today. It also got me involved with The Friends of the Edison Public Library, of which I am now President and my Wife is on the board. Above all, I found it an excellent way to connect to my adopted home. I would personally recommend that anyone moving into a new community try finding a local organization to join.

I would be negligent if I talked about my involvement with The Center For Community Renewal without saying a little about this unique and wonderful group and its origins.

In 1997, a friend told Ian Durand that he was not fulfilling his potential, and challenged him to come up with something completely different from anything he had done before. What Ian, a Canadian by birth but a longtime resident of Edison, came up with some months later was The Center. Many meetings with friends and family ensued. In a weird twist of fate, Ian's daughter was driving along a major road in Edison when she spotted a wallet. She stopped to pick it up and found contact details in it. The wallet was returned to its owner, a man named Dock Houk, founder of The National Heritage Foundation. In appreciation, Dock set up The Center as a non-profit under the umbrella of his organization and donated $1000 to get it started.

In Early 1999, Ian and his Wife April took a course during which they were challenged to create a major project unlike anything they had done before. Ian came up with a "Family Fun Day" in a local park. April came up with the idea of a huge book sale. That's the point at which I came in. "The Edison Book and Arts Fair" was the first of many local projects in which I became involved.

Have you joined a local organization as a way to get to know a new community? Have you found other ways to help with this process? If so, we would love to hear from you, so please leave a comment.

O'Halloran's Irish Pub, Fords, NJ - an Irish Lament

I went out last night in search of a beer or two and some adult conversation. I had planned to visit "In-Laws," which stands where O'Halloran's irish Pub used to be. I discovered it had closed down. Several bars have been and gone there since O'Halloran's closed its doors. I ended up going to The Liberty Tavern, also in Fords, NJ, which was ok, but it reminded me of how much I miss my favorite local pub. If I could write lyrics, I would probably feel inspired to write a song.

It would seem appropriate that any song about a lost, lamented Irish Pub would have to have an Irish flavor to it!

They knew how to keep their Guinness in great condition. The food was good, even though for some inexplicable reason, they made round, flat, fried potatoes instead of authentic chips. The jukebox had a great selection, and the live music was always good. The staff were always friendly.

Above all, what kept me going to O'Halloran's was the people it attracted. Intelligent, friendly folk, who enjoyed stimulating conversation as much as a good pint.

O'Halloran's Irish Pub - Gone, but not forgotten. Sadly missed.

A New Jerseyan in England

I had a very interesting conversation via Twitter, the social networking site, over the weekend. I was talking with Debra Denton, known on Twitter as @debra47, an American woman married to an Englishman and living in England. In addition to us living in each other's countries (she also comes from New Jersey) and being married to a native, we have quite a few other things in common. She is also a blogger. Her blog is Power Pop Review. We both moved to another country to get married quite late in life. We also both met our spouses over the Internet because of a mutual love of music. As I have mentioned on this blog in the past, I met my Wife on the Internet discussion group for singer-songwriter Dar Williams. Debra met her husband on the now sadly defunct music site Audiogalaxy.

Our conversation began when a comment about wine evolved into a little conversation about single malt scotch, which I adore, but cannot really afford here in the US. Debra developed a taste after a tour of a whisky distillery a while back. What became the most interesting part of our conversation started when she asked me what I missed about England, apart from fish & chips and single malt scotch. I told her I missed my local pub. Of course, I might be missing it even if I was back in England. We talked about the alarming rate at which pubs in the UK are closing (at the time of writing, six pubs are closing each day). High beer prices and a recent ban on smoking in pubs seem to have resulted in most people deciding to stay at home. There they can smoke, drink cheap supermarket booze and watch their widescreen TVs.

Debra told me that what she misses most about New Jersey is being able to find a diner, with a huge, reasonably priced menu, open 24 hours a day. She believes that she is healthier since she moved to England, because she is able to walk much more than she was able to in New Jersey. Although my particular neighborhood is pretty walkable (I told her my family had walked to a new diner just the previous day, much to her surprise), much of New Jersey is not pedestrian-friendly. People get in their cars to drive a few blocks. On recent trips back to the US, Debra noticed that many "downtown" areas (town centres) have disappeared as large superstores appear on the outskirts of towns, pretty much sucking the heart out of them.

In my adopted hometown, Edison, New Jersey, many people work elsewhere, and only come back to Edison to sleep. With their long hours, there is no time to get involved in things going on locally. This is happening in the US and in the UK. Debra suggested that perhaps this lack of community is what has drawn both of us, along with many others, into Internet-based groups. I suggested that if more companies allowed their workers to telecommute when practical, it might help restore local communities because people would be around much more, and it would help the environment. Many employers fear that if they are not standing over their workers, they will waste time. However, I have found that telecommuting, with its lack of physical distractions, often results in increased productivity.

We discovered that we were both regularly asked, "Do you prefer it over here or over there?" We have the same answer too: "There's good and bad in both." We can both honestly say that there are things we love and dislike about our countries of birth and our adopted homes. We are caught between two cultures and we get the best and the worst of each.

We also both get comments about how our accents have not changed. Debra is asked a lot if she is a Canadian. I wondered if that was perhaps because people hoped she was not American, because in the UK, Americans have often been tarred with the "Bush brush." Debra says that she has certainly experienced some anti-Americanism, but that it seems to be subsiding since the election of President Barack Obama.

I have invited Debra to write a guest post in this blog, and she has said that she would love to. I think it would make an interesting counterpoint to my own posts here.

Are you living in a country other than the one in which you were brought up? Perhaps you have a friend in this situation. Please do post a comment and share your observations.

Ten Years

Today is my tenth wedding anniversary. Sometimes it seems like I have been married forever, and other times it seems like yesterday. It is true that many things have happened during the past ten years, and I hate to admit that many have slipped out of my sieve-like mind. However, my parents' fiftieth anniversary is coming up later this month. I can only imagine the things that they have experienced and forgotten.

As I described in one of my first blog entries, the date we were to get married was largely down to what was then known as the INS (Immigration and Naturalization Service), what is now USCIS (US Citizenship and Immigration Services). I was in England and B. was here in New Jersey. We had no idea how long it would be before the INS approved our Fiance Visa, but we knew that we only had 90 days following approval to get married. We got our approval in December 1998, slightly earlier than we had expected, which meant that with the holiday season just around the corner, I had to make travel arrangements, and we had to plan a wedding.

Fortunately, B. and I had similar ideas for what we wanted from a wedding. We did want an occasion, rather than a simple official marriage. However, we wanted a wedding we could enjoy ourselves. We had heard all too often about couples who had big weddings and who had not enjoyed the day themselves, because the event was geared towards other people.

We agreed on the venue we wanted. The Palmyra Tea Room in Bound Brook, New Jersey, was a great place that we used to visit together. It had a wonderful Bohemian feel to it, with mismatched chairs, tables and china. It had an adjoining art-gallery, lots of books, tasty food and great people. Fortunately, although they had never done a wedding there before, they agreed to do it for us. We were to have the wedding in the art-gallery, and then we would move into the tea room itself for the reception. They would close for the day and provide the food.

The other preparations seem to have disappeared in a blur from my memory, but one thing that we were proud of was that B. and a friend actually made their own paper for the invitations. Since both B. and her Mother suffer badly from allergies to many flowers, we were to have artificial ones, and again, B. and a friend made the arrangements.

I do not have a large or particularly close extended family, and my parents don't fly, so my Brother was to be the sole family representative - and my best man. On the other hand, B. does have a large, close family, so the Brits were a little outnumbered. Fortunately, B's family are a lot of fun, and a rehearsal dinner ended up with most of us sitting underneath the tables, playing with kids. My stag night consisted of My Brother, a friend and I at our house with a bottle of Power's Irish whiskey. It was more fun than you might imagine, and we even managed to break some furniture!

The wedding itself, as planned, was a lot of fun, even for us. We had friends there who we had met on the internet-based music community where B. and I first met, so that did balance out B's huge family a little. One of them acted as DJ for the ceremony and reception, so the day was filled with the music we loved. The local Mayor presided over the ceremony, we drank "champagne" from a local winery, and a singer-songwriter friend performed for us.

The one sad part of the whole thing is that The Palmyra Tea Room is no more. It fell victim to Hurricane Floyd in 1999, when much of Bound Brook was completely submerged. Because of the huge cost of repairs, and apparent disputes with the landlord over responsibility for those repairs, it never reopened its doors.

One day, I'll write about our honeymoon, because, like our wedding, it was a little unusual, but so "us." For now, I want to take this opportunity to wish my dear Wife a happy anniversary. The first song to play after our wedding was "Love is the Ride" by Lucy Kaplansky. And it has been a ride. Sometimes, a joy-ride, sometimes a little bit of a white-knuckle ride. But I could not imagine sharing it with anyone else.

Let it snow!

Yesterday I had to cancel a board meeting of the Friends of the Edison, NJ Public Library (of which I am president) because of the snow. The snow was not particularly bad but we were expecting more in the late afternoon and early evening, and it was going to be very cold. Some of the members are seniors, and some have mobility issues. In addition, we did not have a whole lot to talk about, so to drag everyone out seemed a little foolish. Some schools in Edison closed or were opening a little later than usual. My daughter's preschool was operating as normal, however, so I took a push broom to my van, while warming it up, so I could pick her up (my Wife takes her in).



I admit it, I hate snow intensely and always have. I seem to recall telling other kids at school that I was allergic to snow, in an attempt to put them off pelting me with snowballs. Here in New Jersey, the summers are warmer than England (and more humid), and the winters are colder, so I have to live with it. At least I work from home, so I rarely have to go out in the snow. My Wife, brought up in Michigan, does not have any problem with the snow, or driving in it. On a recent trip to my Mother-in-Law's in Grand Rapids, Michigan for Christmas, I drove the non-snowy parts. My Wife drove the parts of the journey where the snow was worse - with me sitting white-knuckled in the passenger seat. I remember on my first trip to visit my in-laws that my Wife took the car up a very steep snow-covered hill a few blocks away from the family home, just for a lark, with me panicking all the way. My four-year old daughter has inherited my Wife's snow-genes, as she regularly demonstrates when we arrive home in the snow, and she takes off into the back yard to frolic. I am usually standing on the back step yelling for her to come back in.

Britain, especially England, is not used to much snow. However, it has had some the last few days. As is usual when Britain gets snow, the country pretty much stopped. Airports and other transportation closed down and so did the schools. Snow shut down London. The media was full of it. There were stories about how to cope with the snow (complete with ridicule from colder, snowier countries). Website Londonist had the headline Snow Bonkersness. The Daily Mail, in typical Daily Mail fashion, focused on business leaders' anger at school closures with their story entitled Frozen out by health and safety: Third day off lessons as schools close 'because children might get ice in their eyes'. There were sad stories, and there were plenty of wonderful photos.

The reason why Britain is never prepared for the snow is purely down to economics. It is because it hardly ever happens. Those same Daily Mail readers would have thrown a hissy-fit if a few weeks ago, Boris Johnson (The Mayor of London) had been spending money on snowploughs or if the railway services had increased fares in order to buy equipment for de-icing the rails.

Are you a snow-fan or snow-wimp? Are you going to be out in it, or inside drinking hot-chocolate? Please let me know by posting a comment.

The Quest for Fish & Chips

One of the first things I do whenever I visit my family in England is to treat everyone to fish & chips. Invariably, I am craving them weeks before we go. My parents always warn me that the local "chippy" serves huge portions and not to get too much. I still end up with loads left over, even after we all have heaping plates. The chip shop near my parents' house is not the best, but it's not bad. They're nice people and it's close, so the food stays hot. They also serve mushy peas, the smooshed up processed peas, most often consumed in the North of England, that my Wife has inexplicably developed a taste for.

Since moving to the US, I have often been "tricked" into trying meals posing as fish & chips. My Wife was very excited when a fast food joint close to where we lived changed to a branch of Arthur Treacher's Fish and Chips. The food was about as authentic as the premise that Arthur Treacher (an English character actor known for his portrayal of "The perfect English Butler" in movies of the 1930s) had anything to do with fish & chips. Encouragingly, they had malt vinegar, the best authentic condiment, on each table. However, the chips seemed to be made of extruded potato, and quite bizarrely, the meal came with hush puppies (fried cornbread balls) and coleslaw. I have frequently seen my favorite listed on menus, and just about every time I have been disappointed. The best fish and chips I tasted here were at O'Halloran's, the Irish pub I wrote about recently.

Nevertheless, the best fish & chips are British, and a little over a week ago, Chef Simon Rimmer announced the best of the best. Anstruther Fish Bar in Fife, Scotland, beat off about a thousand competitors to win the 2008 title National Fish & Chip Shop of the Year. The shop was frequented by Prince William when he was at university and has also been visited by Robert de Niro, Robert Duvall and Tom Hanks. Organizers Seafish said, "one in every £100 spent on food is in a fish and chip shop" and that chip shop profits are increasing as the economy gets worse. Chippies are caring about sourcing food responsibly too. The winner of the 21st annual award "serves ethically sourced North Sea haddock, Pittenweem prawns and Shetland organic cod from the world’s first sustainable solution to wild cod fisheries."

I'll settle for cod (or the more responsible choice, pollack) and chips at my parents' local chippy. How about you? Do you know a great place to have fish & chips? Please post a comment and let me know.

In Search of the Perfect Pub

English Diarist Samuel Pepys apparently wrote that the pub was England's heart, while the church was its soul. Not being much of a churchgoer, I can't say a lot about the state of religion in England, but I do know a good pub when I see it!

Pubs have been part of the British culture for hundreds of years. Most Brits are used to having a local pub within easy walking distance. We usually call this our "Local." Whenever we walk in, we know there will be someone there who knows us. We can "put the world to rights", drink to celebrate, drink to "drown our sorrows" or just be with friends. We'll meet our neighbors, old school-friends, and a selection of pub-poets, pub-politicians, and people who will help you fix your car, paint a room, or offer to get you anything you want, no questions asked.

When I first moved to the US, my dear Wife B. told me she'd spotted a place called "Polo Pub" on her way to work that might be worth checking out. I think she had visions of English gentry in jodhpurs talking about horses. Actually, the people who owned the Chinese restaurant next door also owned this particular establishment and there was even an open doorway joining the two places. It was not particularly British!

On a walk down to the nearest strip-mall (small arcade of shops), I discovered "VW's." In front, it was a liquor-store (off-license); in the back was a bar. A little rough-and-ready, it did however contain an array of regulars, and the bar-staff were very friendly. I spent quite a few evenings there. I even took my brother when he came over on a rare visit. When they stopped selling the draft beer I enjoyed there, I started going less frequently.

We moved to a different area of town and I discovered two pubs within walking distance. One was quite close but a little unfriendly, the other much friendlier but quite a hike.

Then, a wonderful thing happened - an Irish pub, "O'Halloran's", opened up within easy walking distance. Catherine, a Dubliner, ran the new pub, in what had once been a restaurant. It was a magical place. They had good live music, and the regulars were the kind of intelligent people with whom you could have interesting conversations. The food was tasty too. You could have real fish and chips with malt vinegar, or bangers and mash (sausages with mashed potatoes), for instance, and wash it down with great draught Guinness. There was rarely any trouble there.

Unfortunately, the business began to struggle financially. It's traditional in our area of New Jersey for people to go to the "shore" at the weekend during the warm months, and a quiet summer put the final nail in the coffin. Catherine, very embarrassed by the failure, said little before the closure, although a fine party took place on the last night!

The pub became a "sports bar", and encouraged the very young. I have been there a few times since O'Halloran's closed, but it's not a patch on its predecessor. There is one other place reasonably close by, and a local band I knew from O'Halloran's plays there sometimes, so I pay a visit occasionally. Now there isn't a good bar within walking distance, so these days I am content to stay in with my family on a Friday night, and they are glad that I no longer come staggering back at 3 O'clock in the morning.

Do you have or remember a favorite bar or pub? Leave me a comment and tell me a little about it.

Library Love

When I first moved to the USA, I did not yet have a work-permit (it would take a few months to be approved), and I was worried about becoming bored being home all day, while my then fiancee was at work. I desperately did not want to be vegging out in front of daytime TV. I was not driving at that time (for the reason why, please see my entry: Cops, Cars and a Cuppa - my first visit to the US (part 2)), so there was a limit to where I could get. I discovered that my nearest public library was within walking distance, so the first thing I did on my very first day by myself in the US was to visit my local branch, apply for a library card and look around.

Not being used to the way these types of organizations work in the US, it was a little confusing at first, especially as the first librarian I encountered was a little less than helpful. Fortunately, I got through the ordeal, and before long, I was the proud carrier of my first US library card.

Although I've been a book lover all my life, I didn't spend a lot of time in public libraries in England, with the exception of the mobile library (bookmobile) that I spent a lot of time in as a child. That was to change once I moved to Edison, New Jersey. I became so involved with my local library that I soon became an active member of my local Friends of the Library group, a nonprofit organization formed to support the activities of the library by supplementing the dwindling public funding they receive. I'm now proud to be the President of that group.

Libraries can be a great source of information, education and entertainment for new US residents. English as a second language (ESL) classes, information about immigration procedures, help and resources for finding jobs, computers with Internet access, expert reference librarians, as well as programs, newspapers, books and movies are among typical library offerings. Our libraries are especially important in times of economic hardship, the very time when public funding is usually reduced. There was a great piece recently on the Diane Rehm radio show about this.

I was alarmed to read today about the imminent CPSIA laws, which looked set to prevent us from selling used children's books at our annual fundraising book sales. Fortunately, a public outcry to the ambiguously worded and poorly publicized laws resulted in a clarification by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, and it looks like it will not affect our sales after all. Still, there may be implications for libraries because new books do seem to be included in these regulations.

A Bit of Fry and Pinter

Right now there's another Englishman in this country I've been following avidly: Stephen Fry. I've always liked Stephen's stuff, he's a darned clever fella, but on our most recent trip to England to spend time with my folks, I watched the first couple of episodes of his BBC series Stephen Fry in America. My only regret was that he was not able to spend more time in each place. For example, his coverage of my adopted home state of New Jersey was limited to visiting a casino in Atlantic City.

Having recently started using Twitter myself, I was pleased to find Mr. Fry was an avid Twitterer. Not only that, but he's been spending the holiday season here in the States. He's been pretty much Tweeting a running commentary of his time first in New York, then on the West Coast. He's been sending photos of his travels. He visited Saturday Night Live to watch his friend and comedy-partner Hugh Laurie guest-host the show.

And he's been busy. He judged a competition to come up with original or the best Wildean remarks on December 1st, designated Oscar Wilde Day. He covered a hotel room in computers, telephones and cables to write a comparative review of smartphones. But he's been apologizing for spending so much time walking and shopping.

Go visit his website if you get a chance. Entertaining and interesting.


Finally, like Stephen, I was saddened to hear of the loss of English playwright and activist Harold Pinter to cancer on Christmas Eve. The writer of such classics as "The Birthday Party", "The Caretaker" and "Betrayal", his only serious rival was Samuel Beckett. He'll be missed.

There's No Sleeping at the INS!

Did you ever see the movie Green Card, with Gerard Depardieu and Andie McDowell? An American woman and a French man marry in order for him to get a Green Card. They spend much of the movie studying each others' habits, living arrangements, etc., so they'll appear to be a genuine couple. Ever think that it might present a realistic view of what it's like for an American woman to marry someone from outside the United States? Think again!

Bear in mind that the events I describe took place pre-9/11, so heaven only knows what the process is like now. It was also a grueling bureaucratic procedure that I've tried to push to the back of my mind, so the sequence of events is probably off, and I've no doubt forgotten many aspects of it.

Pretty much as soon as I'd proposed to B. we started researching what we'd have to do to get me into the country. Fortunately, we were both net-savvy, and there were online discussion groups full of couples who had been in, or were going through similar situations to us. We found out that, although tedious, the process was something we could do ourselves, without the help of an attorney, which would save us some money.

So first B. had to apply to what was then the INS (Immigration and Naturalization Service) - what is now USCIS (US Citizenship and Immigration Services) - for permission for me to come over to the US on what is known as a "Fiance Visa." We didn't know how long that would take to process, so we couldn't, of course, make any plans until we received the visa. When we received the go-ahead, we only had a 90-day window in which to get married. Yep, that's right - we had to plan a wedding in addition to planning for me to get over to the States within 3 Months. We got our approval in December 1998. I was over by Christmas 1998, and we were married in March 1999.

I have to say, even given the limited time we had, we had the best wedding! It fitted our personalities perfectly. It was held at a little tea-room which we had often visited together. It had a small art-gallery attached, so we had the wedding in the art-gallery and the reception in the tea-room. Unlike many couples, we actually got to enjoy our little wedding, surrounded by family and friends, one friend providing the music, another performing a song she'd written for us.

Of course, the immigration process was still not over for us. Once we were married, we had to initiate the Green Card procedure. Once we'd completed the paperwork and submitted the various documentation and filing fees, it was a waiting game, but one with some rules that we had to be aware of.

Firstly, if I wanted to work, I had to apply for a separate work permit. That was worth doing, because it takes a long time to get a Green Card. One other thing we had to take care of was something known bizarrely as "Advance Parole." This means that if we wanted to leave the country for any reason, we needed permission for me to do so, otherwise I would be considered as having abandoned my Green Card application and wouldn't be allowed back in the US. This has sadly happened to some couples, resulting in them being separated for months on end.

We were dealing with Newark INS. They did not let you make appointments to see them to get Advance Parole. All we could do is line up on the street at 4am with the several hundred others waiting to get into the building when it opened. They would only allow a certain number of people in during the day, so if we didn't get there in time, we were out of luck. When we eventually got into the building, there was a further wait during a shift change. Many people sat on the floor while waiting. B. actually lay down and rested her eyes for a while, during which time a security guard prodded her with his foot, saying "There's no sleeping at the INS!" Eventually we got herded into another room, which had its blinds closed. It'd all taken such a long time to get this far, that we had no concept of the time. We pulled the blinds aside a little to look outside and almost immediately a head popped up above a partition, telling us that we were not allowed to look outside! After going through all this, at least I had my Advance Parole approved, which allowed us to visit my parents in England.

Eventually, my Green Card came through. We were given an appointment at Newark for an interview prior to getting it. That was the closest we ever got to the situation portrayed in "Green Card." Our one and only trick question came when the woman conducting our interview asked Becky how I spelled my surname. I've spent just about my whole life spelling my name for people, so I started blurting it out, before B. shot me a look, and I realized that she was being tested. And she did get it right!

How did you two meet?

When I start talking with someone for the first time and they hear my accent, the first question they usually ask is "Where do you come from?" The second is "What brings you over here?", to which I usually answer "My Wife." The third question is usually "How did you two meet?" So in true American TV series style, here's a quick summary:

Previously in Graham's Life.....

Graham inexplicably develops a taste for English folk music, regularly going to folk festivals, such as The Cambridge Folk Festival, where one year he hears a new American singer-songwriter called Dar Williams. He starts listening to American Folk Music and joins the Dar List, an e-mail based discussion group for fans of Dar Williams. He starts posting on a fairly regular basis. He receives an e-mail one day from an American woman living in New Jersey commenting on something he'd posted to the list. Let's call her "B." Graham and B start e-mailing each other on a fairly regular basis, and a friendship ensues.

In these pre-IM/Chat-room days, Graham decides to start an IRC channel, so that like-minded fans can get together on Friday nights and chat. Despite it being a lively place, Graham and B often find themselves still chatting with each other through the night and into the morning. Something is going on here.

One Friday evening on IRC, with only Graham and a New Zealander still around, B mentions that she has a spare ticket for a local folk concert, and jokingly wonders if anyone wants to come with her. Graham calls her bluff and says sure....