Behind You! - A Guest Post by Becky Gudgin

During our recent trip to England, we went to a theatre in Wales to see a Pantomime, that most British of theatrical events. I was going to write about it here, but then I was struck by the thought that it might be even better to get a genuine American's interpretation of the spectacle. Now, where can I get one of those? Oh, that's right, I'm married to a genuine American!

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I’ve been asked to explain British pantomime. I am not British. My husband is. But we both recently went to our first panto, Sleeping Beauty, in Swansea, Wales.

A British panto is the retelling of a classic fairytale in musical form. The lead players are usually well-known actors from TV, stage, etc. Some of the lesser characters are brought in or well known local actors. The ensemble consists of kids and adults who are local actors/theatre students. Audience participation, in the form of "boo", "yay", "awwww", etc., is encouraged. There is often a good and/or bad fairy, a simpleminded comedian who interacts with the kids in the audience and a "dame"- a guy dressed in bad drag. There is a lot of innuendo meant to go over the heads of the kids and entertain the adults, much of which comes from the dame. There are local jokes and references to the main actors' best-known roles.

This play had Sleeping Beauty, her father the King, the Prince, Silly Billy (the simpleminded comedian), a dame (Nurse Nelly), a good fairy (yay!) and fairy “Bodybag” (boo!!!). The Prince and Sleeping Beauty played the story straightforwardly. Everyone else went back and forth between moving the story along and just goofing around - improvising and entertaining the audience while the set was being changed, etc. The first act was fairly close to the plot of the fairytale. It began with Sleeping Beauty being born and the fairies lining up to give her gifts. Bodybag was not invited and thus cursed the baby to prick her finger on a spinning wheel and die before her eighteenth birthday. It ended with Sleeping Beauty pricking her finger on a spinning wheel despite the best efforts of the Prince and the King.

At some point the audience was thrown sweets (candy) and squirted with water guns. (My daughter was sorely disappointed not to get wet.) Nurse Nelly meanwhile, picked out some hapless guy from the audience and flirted with him shamelessly from the stage for the whole show. A somewhat traditional scene had Billy and Nurse Nelly baking. They were making "toad in the hole" - a British dish with sausages hidden in a kind of bready batter. Aside from the sausage innuendos, there was flour flying in Billy's face and smoke from the oven that prompted the audience to obligingly shout "Look behind you!"

The second act was a departure from the fairytale. Of course the good fairy had changed the curse from death to a sleep of 100 years. How was the Prince going to live 100 years to awaken her? She sent him flying thru time! The flying scene was fantastic with wonderful special effects. I leaned over to my daughter and said "[The Prince] is flying". She condescendingly whispered back to me that he was just on strings.

When the Prince landed, he went to Sleeping Beauty and awakened her. But Bodybag was not done. I am afraid to tell you what happened next! Being a huge fan of the actor who played the Prince, I was prepared to storm the stage but I held myself back. The bad fairy tried to steal the Prince! She hypnotized him and tried to get him to marry her! (Boo!!! Hiss!!!!) Sleeping Beauty showed up just in time and he was saved by the power of love. (Awwwww!!!!) Then Bodybag turned into DRAGON Bodybag and tried to stop them. The swashbuckling hero fought the dragon and eventually killed it. The closing scene with plenty of singing and dancing was Sleeping Beauty’s eighteenth birthday party combined with her wedding.

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Space didn't allow Becky to include all the Pantomime traditions we were treated to. Wikipedia has an excellent description of Pantomime, and how it works, if you want to find out more. And of course, we welcome your comments and questions.

A Big Fuss Over Nothing: England 2010 Part 1

We generally get to visit England about once every eighteen months, and about once every three years we get to visit over Christmas. A slight logistical problem where my Wife works meant that we had to visit over New Year instead of Christmas itself.

There were two main concerns we had before and during our trip this time: Flight security and the weather. The failed attempt to bring down an airliner on Christmas day resulted in changes to security procedures. It looked like flights coming into the US were where most changes were taking place, so before we left, we were keeping an eye on the latest news. Flights were being delayed, and the carry-on baggage allowance for planes into the US was reduced, both in maximum size and in number of items. Since the Christmas Day incident involved someone spending a long time in the bathroom, then attempting to explode chemicals in their lap, there were also stories about passengers being forced to stay in their seats with nothing in their laps for the final hour of flights. That particularly concerned us, since we were flying with a five-year-old. We also heard that the in-flight entertainment might be disabled, so no-one would know when we were actually over US airspace.

We hoped that these measures would be relaxed during the two weeks we were in England, and that was, thankfully, the case. My Father got worried, however, when he saw a news story about a student at Newark airport who went past the security point to kiss his girlfriend, which led to a huge incident. I think my Father thought that I might be arrested for kissing my Wife! In fact, the security seemed to be pretty much the same as we had experienced in the past, and neither of our flights were delayed.

Generally speaking, the weather in New Jersey is more extreme than in England. We have colder winters, with more snow, and the summers are hotter and more humid. We left New Jersey with snow on the ground, and by the time we returned, the snow had gone. England, however, was experiencing record cold weather, and lots of snow! While by New Jersey standards it wasn't that bad, England is not used to much in the way of snow and ice, and therefore does not invest in the equipment and measures that other places do. Therefore, the entire country grinds to a halt if there are more than a few flakes of snow on the ground. During our trip, the news was full of weather-related stories, such as the sharing and rationing of the grit used to keep the roads free of ice, and worries that important exams might have to be canceled because of school closures.

The poor weather did mean that the bulk of our vacation was spent at my parents' house, and not getting out and about doing the fun things we usually get up to. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing. We were forced to take a much-needed break doing pretty much nothing. The weather improved towards the end of our visit, which allowed us to take a planned side-trip to Wales (more about that in a future entry), and meant that our journey home was problem-free.

It's great to be back writing for my blog again. I'd love to hear from you, so please do make a comment. Did you travel over the holidays? How did things go for you?

Lusardi calls 999 to get to panto

I'm sure I'm not alone amongst ex-pat Brits in wanting to keep abreast of news from home. The BBC is one prime source for this, and I monitor the news headlines regularly. When I saw the headline above, I just knew there was a quintessentially British story to share. Here's the story in its entirety.

Let's start with Linda Lusardi. Ms. Lusardi started her career as a "page 3 model." "Page 3" is somewhat of a British institution, albeit a rather dubious one. The Sun, a British tabloid owned by Rupert Murdoch, has for many years featured a photograph of a topless model on page three of the newspaper. Linda Lusardi was one of the most popular page 3 girls ever, appearing for eleven years. She also appeared fully nude in various men's magazines.

More recently she's been appearing in various shows as an actress, most notably in Emmerdale, the third most popular soap-opera on TV in Britain. Again, pretty much an institution, Emmerdale, originally called "Emmerdale Farm" started out as a story set on a farm. In more recent years, the show has focused more on the goings-on in the local village. The show is also well-known for having more than its fair share of disasters, such as plane crashes, explosions, fires and shootings.

But back to Linda Lusardi. Linda has recently been appearing in Pantomime with her husband, British actor Sam Cane. Pantomime, often shortened to "Panto" is another British tradition. Presented at theatres (we have to use the British spelling, as opposed to the American "theater" here, darling!) around the country during the Christmas season, the stage shows usually feature music, comedy, audience participation for the kids ("Behind you!", "Oh no it isn't!" "Oh yes it is!"), some sexual innuendo for the parents, and cross-dressing. The lead male character is most often played by a woman, and an older "pantomime dame" is usually played by a man. Popular shows are Aladdin, Cinderella, Mother Goose, and similar.

So, Linda Lusardi (who's now 50 - that makes me feel old!), on her way to playing Queen Lucretia in a panto performance of "Snow White", is driving on the M25, a motorway that completely circles London, notorious for high volumes of traffic, when she encounters a traffic-jam. She proceeds to call 999 (The British equivalent of 911, reserved for emergency services), where she requests permission to use the hard-shoulder so she can get to the show on time. Her request was, of course, denied. A police spokesperson said "Being late for work is not a reason to call 999, contact the police or use emergency measures. Use of the hard shoulder is restricted for emergency service vehicles only."

Oh no, she didn't! - Oh yes she did!

The Full English Breakfast

I'm writing this entry early in the morning in a motel room in Pennsylvania, a little over halfway home from our Christmas trip to the Michigan in-laws. I'm munching on an apple, because I cannot abide having an empty stomach, but I'm craving the big breakfast I'll no doubt have once the rest of the family have woken up, showered and we look for somewhere to eat. There's coffee, bagels and muffins available in the lobby, but that's not going to cut it for me.

My vegetarian friends may now leave the room before I launch into the really offensive stuff.

What I'm really craving is meat. What I'm really craving is that beast known as the Full English Breakfast.

There are some excellent breakfast choices available in this part of the country. I'm rather partial to biscuits smothered in sausage gravy (a note for our British Friends - a biscuit is rather similar to a scone, perhaps a little fluffier, and sausage gravy is a thick, creamy sauce full of crumbled sausage). But the Americans, much as they seem to enjoy their meat, don't really get the British love of having more than one meat on your plate at the same time. See, the "F.E.B." usually contains bacon and sausage; in fact, for those hardcore fans amongst us, it should also include black pudding. For those who still are blissfully unaware of what black pudding is, it's a blood sausage. Very rich, very fatty, very unhealthy, and of course very tasty. But even when you find a selection of "fry-ups" listed on a menu, you can get eggs done in a multitude of ways, maybe biscuits, hash browns, etc., with bacon or sausage. Usually, if you want both sausage and bacon, you have to order one as part of your meal, and the other as a side.

So, what I really want (and will probably only get in the US if I make it myself) is one fried egg, over-easy (so the yoke is runny but the white is not slimy), bacon, sausage, black pudding, baked beans, fried tomato, fried bread and fried mushroom. Yep, heart-attack on a plate.

There are a few compromises that have to be made if you're craving the F.E.B. but living in the U.S. The bacon usually available here is sliced really thin and very fatty. It's really only good for crumbling into something for flavor. I generally go for sweet Italian sausages, but while good, they're not the same as a good British banger. Baked beans over here are generally over-sweet, and contain a lump of fatty pork; In the US, Heinz do "Vegetarian Baked Beans", which is about as close as you'll get to the beans that Heinz make for the Brits.

I'll probably write more about tea in another entry, but as a great British tea-drinker, at home I'd usually make myself a cuppa to drink with the fry-up. Tetley makes "British Blend" teabags which are pretty good. I would drink coffee if I was having breakfast at a restaurant, because most places can't make tea properly.

And, if consuming this in England, with egg-yoke running down our chins we'd probably be berating the Americans for being obese.

I'm perfectly aware that this artery-hardening breakfast is not exactly the healthy option. And I certainly would not eat it every morning. Probably not even once a week. But as a rare treat, it's precisely that - a rare treat!

So, in the interests of full-disclosure, I should also point out this article from the Times of London.

A Bit of Fry and Pinter

Right now there's another Englishman in this country I've been following avidly: Stephen Fry. I've always liked Stephen's stuff, he's a darned clever fella, but on our most recent trip to England to spend time with my folks, I watched the first couple of episodes of his BBC series Stephen Fry in America. My only regret was that he was not able to spend more time in each place. For example, his coverage of my adopted home state of New Jersey was limited to visiting a casino in Atlantic City.

Having recently started using Twitter myself, I was pleased to find Mr. Fry was an avid Twitterer. Not only that, but he's been spending the holiday season here in the States. He's been pretty much Tweeting a running commentary of his time first in New York, then on the West Coast. He's been sending photos of his travels. He visited Saturday Night Live to watch his friend and comedy-partner Hugh Laurie guest-host the show.

And he's been busy. He judged a competition to come up with original or the best Wildean remarks on December 1st, designated Oscar Wilde Day. He covered a hotel room in computers, telephones and cables to write a comparative review of smartphones. But he's been apologizing for spending so much time walking and shopping.

Go visit his website if you get a chance. Entertaining and interesting.


Finally, like Stephen, I was saddened to hear of the loss of English playwright and activist Harold Pinter to cancer on Christmas Eve. The writer of such classics as "The Birthday Party", "The Caretaker" and "Betrayal", his only serious rival was Samuel Beckett. He'll be missed.

Christmas Controversies

Having enjoyed a wonderful Christmas at my Mother-in-Law's house in Michigan, with my Brother-in-Law's family as well as my Wife and Daughter, I felt the need to write a little about some of the differences between Christmas in the US and Christmas in the UK. I think it's important to state that I find there to be more similarities than differences, especially with my Wife's family, who go out of their way to embrace British traditions as a way of making me feel welcomed. In addition, I've discovered (as is often the case) that what I've been accepting as UK/US differences are often simply differences between families. More on that later.

I guess one of the biggest differences is that, generally speaking, the big guy with the red suit and white beard is referred to as Santa Claus in the US, while most of the time Brits refer to him as Father Christmas. My American family was eager to try the British tradition of Christmas Crackers, complete with awful jokes and paper hats we all had to wear for extra humiliation at the table. And the meal we had yesterday was a lovely joint of roast beef, while British Christmas dinner, again generally speaking, consists of turkey (Turkey usually being consumed in the US for Thanksgiving). In England, I'd also usually be eating Christmas Pudding, that gloriously fruity, alcoholic, heavy steamed sponge, and a slice of Christmas Cake, just to ensure that I was incapable of movement the rest of the day. And I'm writing this article on what in Britain we'd call Boxing Day, December 26th, traditionally the day that employers would give leftover gifts to their servants and employees. Yes, "re-gifting" is nothing new!

So, on to more controversial stuff. What do we leave Father Christmas/Santa Claus on Christmas Eve? In my house it was always a mince pie (a sweet pastry filled with what is called "mincemeat", which these days contains no meat), together with a glass of sherry and a carrot for the reindeer. My Wife's family believe that milk and cookies are the generally accepted gift in the US. But a rather unscientific poll I conducted showed some rather interesting results. One old schoolfriend from England was a little conflicted on the matter. Since drinking and driving is such a big issue, her family had started leaving out a cup of hot chocolate; however, another schoolfriend had advised her that Rudolph was now the one who drives, so Father Christmas will once more be finding a glass of brandy. And then there were three American friends of mine who in turn were leaving:

1. Freshly baked sugar and chocolate chip cookies and hot apple cider with spiced rum
2. Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale
3. Baileys Irish Cream

I'm not sure whether this says more about globalization, or my friends! I do know that my Mother-in-Law bought mince pies, sherry and a huge carrot, so we could do things the way I had always done them. My daughter was also delighted to discover that everything she'd left had gone on Christmas morning, apart from the last bite or two of the carrot; according to the note Santa left, the reindeer each took a bite, but it was so huge, they couldn't manage it all.

A Christmas Dedication

My Wife has until now not been aware that I started this blog. Yet, if it hadn't been for her, there would be no blog. So, on this Christmas Day, instead of a regular entry, I dedicate An Englishman In New Jersey to my wonderful Wife, B. This is not just my story, it's our story. Happy Christmas!