A Big Fuss Over Nothing: England 2010 Part 1

We generally get to visit England about once every eighteen months, and about once every three years we get to visit over Christmas. A slight logistical problem where my Wife works meant that we had to visit over New Year instead of Christmas itself.

There were two main concerns we had before and during our trip this time: Flight security and the weather. The failed attempt to bring down an airliner on Christmas day resulted in changes to security procedures. It looked like flights coming into the US were where most changes were taking place, so before we left, we were keeping an eye on the latest news. Flights were being delayed, and the carry-on baggage allowance for planes into the US was reduced, both in maximum size and in number of items. Since the Christmas Day incident involved someone spending a long time in the bathroom, then attempting to explode chemicals in their lap, there were also stories about passengers being forced to stay in their seats with nothing in their laps for the final hour of flights. That particularly concerned us, since we were flying with a five-year-old. We also heard that the in-flight entertainment might be disabled, so no-one would know when we were actually over US airspace.

We hoped that these measures would be relaxed during the two weeks we were in England, and that was, thankfully, the case. My Father got worried, however, when he saw a news story about a student at Newark airport who went past the security point to kiss his girlfriend, which led to a huge incident. I think my Father thought that I might be arrested for kissing my Wife! In fact, the security seemed to be pretty much the same as we had experienced in the past, and neither of our flights were delayed.

Generally speaking, the weather in New Jersey is more extreme than in England. We have colder winters, with more snow, and the summers are hotter and more humid. We left New Jersey with snow on the ground, and by the time we returned, the snow had gone. England, however, was experiencing record cold weather, and lots of snow! While by New Jersey standards it wasn't that bad, England is not used to much in the way of snow and ice, and therefore does not invest in the equipment and measures that other places do. Therefore, the entire country grinds to a halt if there are more than a few flakes of snow on the ground. During our trip, the news was full of weather-related stories, such as the sharing and rationing of the grit used to keep the roads free of ice, and worries that important exams might have to be canceled because of school closures.

The poor weather did mean that the bulk of our vacation was spent at my parents' house, and not getting out and about doing the fun things we usually get up to. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing. We were forced to take a much-needed break doing pretty much nothing. The weather improved towards the end of our visit, which allowed us to take a planned side-trip to Wales (more about that in a future entry), and meant that our journey home was problem-free.

It's great to be back writing for my blog again. I'd love to hear from you, so please do make a comment. Did you travel over the holidays? How did things go for you?

Be Mine, Valentine!

On this St. Valentine's Day, I wanted to outline the main differences between Valentine's Day in Britain and in the US.

In Britain, the tradition is to send Valentine's cards anonymously to the person or people in whom you are interested. I have since found out that the probable origin of this is a Lancashire tradition, which actually may go back to Roman times. Apparently, eligible young men and women put cards with their names on into two separate piles, and each girl and boy took a card at random. Each person made their own subsequent arrangements, having a choice of two options.

When I moved to the US, I was surprised to find out that people sign their Valentine's cards. Not only that, but it is customary for children to bring tiny little cards (and sometimes candy) to school for every child in class. I clearly remember the difficulty of trying to sneak a card into the locker or bag of girls I "fancied" at school.

My Wife has indulged me in my preference for anonymous cards.

Talking of indulgence, I wanted to hijack this blog post for personal reasons. If it all proves too much, I recommend the Wikipedia article on Valentine's Day.

Firstly a cute story: My four year old daughter went to her dance class this week, and one of the little girls in her class had brought Valentine's cards and gifts for everyone. Not knowing who would be there, her Mother had written who they were from, but had not written the names of any of the intended recipients. She handed a bag of them to the teacher to hand out. Each time my daughter (who is an excellent reader) was given a Valentine, she tried to give it to the girl the card was from. She thought it had been given to her by mistake.

Last, but certainly not least, I have been sick for the last few days, and it has rather limited my plans as far as Valentine's cards or gifts are concerned. Therefore, I am taking advantage of this very public channel to wish my Wife B. a Happy Valentine's Day. I think it's legitimate that I share it here, since she is the reason I moved to the US in the first place, and she continues to be my inspiration.

With All My Love

From

Your Biggest Admirer

Waiting For The Other Ball To Drop

Anyone with family in a different time-zone will be familiar with my situation last night, New Year's Eve. I ended up celebrating New Year twice, firstly at 7pm Eastern Time, which is the equivalent of Midnight in England, then at Midnight Eastern Time. At 7pm I attempted to call my parents. International calls, especially using a calling card (which I use to reduce costs) can often be tricky at major holidays, because of the sheer volume of people attempting to call at the same time. My call was certainly a little confusing, because while I was attempting to call my Father, my Father was trying to call me. So, I got a busy tone (we call it "engaged" in England) and my Dad was leaving me a New Year message on my voicemail as I was trying to call back. Eventually I got through and my Dad picked up immediately, since he was right by the phone. Dad has sometimes been so sweet as to wait until 5am his time to call us to wish us Happy New Year also, but last night he said he was exhausted, so wouldn't be doing that.

Shortly after the call, I headed off to my computer to check on New Year stories from the BBC. I discovered that it had been very cold across Britain, but frozen revellers in many parts of the British Isles still went out to party. In London, there were fireworks, Elton John performing in the O2 Arena (formerly the Millennium Dome), and actor Michael Caine said that while he would usually wish for a "prosperous" New Year, "This year I think what we really need is luck, so good luck everybody."

Those of us Brits of a certain age will remember New Year's Eve on TV used to consist of Andy "Donald Where's Yer Troosers?" Stewart with a traditional Scottish Hogmanay show. The last time we were in England, I greatly enjoyed Jools Holland's "Hootenanny" New Year's Eve show. Not a kilt in sight.

Of course, here in the States, we have dear old "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve." Dick Clark, who for years has hosted this live show watching the giant illuminated ball drop in New York's Times Square, had a stroke in 2004. Regaining his speech and movement somewhat, he's returned to the show, although his slurred speech does unfortunately give him the delivery of a drunkard, which I guess is somewhat appropriate for the occasion.

But I can't leave this subject without talking about The Ball. This huge illuminated orb, built from Waterford Crystal, has been redesigned using Light-Emitting-Diode technology designed by Philips to use 20% less electricity. Let's hear it for green technology! In fact, instead of turning the ball off once it's done its job, let's leave the ball illuminated all year round so that people can see how green we are! It's the American way.

Happy New Year!

Lusardi calls 999 to get to panto

I'm sure I'm not alone amongst ex-pat Brits in wanting to keep abreast of news from home. The BBC is one prime source for this, and I monitor the news headlines regularly. When I saw the headline above, I just knew there was a quintessentially British story to share. Here's the story in its entirety.

Let's start with Linda Lusardi. Ms. Lusardi started her career as a "page 3 model." "Page 3" is somewhat of a British institution, albeit a rather dubious one. The Sun, a British tabloid owned by Rupert Murdoch, has for many years featured a photograph of a topless model on page three of the newspaper. Linda Lusardi was one of the most popular page 3 girls ever, appearing for eleven years. She also appeared fully nude in various men's magazines.

More recently she's been appearing in various shows as an actress, most notably in Emmerdale, the third most popular soap-opera on TV in Britain. Again, pretty much an institution, Emmerdale, originally called "Emmerdale Farm" started out as a story set on a farm. In more recent years, the show has focused more on the goings-on in the local village. The show is also well-known for having more than its fair share of disasters, such as plane crashes, explosions, fires and shootings.

But back to Linda Lusardi. Linda has recently been appearing in Pantomime with her husband, British actor Sam Cane. Pantomime, often shortened to "Panto" is another British tradition. Presented at theatres (we have to use the British spelling, as opposed to the American "theater" here, darling!) around the country during the Christmas season, the stage shows usually feature music, comedy, audience participation for the kids ("Behind you!", "Oh no it isn't!" "Oh yes it is!"), some sexual innuendo for the parents, and cross-dressing. The lead male character is most often played by a woman, and an older "pantomime dame" is usually played by a man. Popular shows are Aladdin, Cinderella, Mother Goose, and similar.

So, Linda Lusardi (who's now 50 - that makes me feel old!), on her way to playing Queen Lucretia in a panto performance of "Snow White", is driving on the M25, a motorway that completely circles London, notorious for high volumes of traffic, when she encounters a traffic-jam. She proceeds to call 999 (The British equivalent of 911, reserved for emergency services), where she requests permission to use the hard-shoulder so she can get to the show on time. Her request was, of course, denied. A police spokesperson said "Being late for work is not a reason to call 999, contact the police or use emergency measures. Use of the hard shoulder is restricted for emergency service vehicles only."

Oh no, she didn't! - Oh yes she did!

The Full English Breakfast

I'm writing this entry early in the morning in a motel room in Pennsylvania, a little over halfway home from our Christmas trip to the Michigan in-laws. I'm munching on an apple, because I cannot abide having an empty stomach, but I'm craving the big breakfast I'll no doubt have once the rest of the family have woken up, showered and we look for somewhere to eat. There's coffee, bagels and muffins available in the lobby, but that's not going to cut it for me.

My vegetarian friends may now leave the room before I launch into the really offensive stuff.

What I'm really craving is meat. What I'm really craving is that beast known as the Full English Breakfast.

There are some excellent breakfast choices available in this part of the country. I'm rather partial to biscuits smothered in sausage gravy (a note for our British Friends - a biscuit is rather similar to a scone, perhaps a little fluffier, and sausage gravy is a thick, creamy sauce full of crumbled sausage). But the Americans, much as they seem to enjoy their meat, don't really get the British love of having more than one meat on your plate at the same time. See, the "F.E.B." usually contains bacon and sausage; in fact, for those hardcore fans amongst us, it should also include black pudding. For those who still are blissfully unaware of what black pudding is, it's a blood sausage. Very rich, very fatty, very unhealthy, and of course very tasty. But even when you find a selection of "fry-ups" listed on a menu, you can get eggs done in a multitude of ways, maybe biscuits, hash browns, etc., with bacon or sausage. Usually, if you want both sausage and bacon, you have to order one as part of your meal, and the other as a side.

So, what I really want (and will probably only get in the US if I make it myself) is one fried egg, over-easy (so the yoke is runny but the white is not slimy), bacon, sausage, black pudding, baked beans, fried tomato, fried bread and fried mushroom. Yep, heart-attack on a plate.

There are a few compromises that have to be made if you're craving the F.E.B. but living in the U.S. The bacon usually available here is sliced really thin and very fatty. It's really only good for crumbling into something for flavor. I generally go for sweet Italian sausages, but while good, they're not the same as a good British banger. Baked beans over here are generally over-sweet, and contain a lump of fatty pork; In the US, Heinz do "Vegetarian Baked Beans", which is about as close as you'll get to the beans that Heinz make for the Brits.

I'll probably write more about tea in another entry, but as a great British tea-drinker, at home I'd usually make myself a cuppa to drink with the fry-up. Tetley makes "British Blend" teabags which are pretty good. I would drink coffee if I was having breakfast at a restaurant, because most places can't make tea properly.

And, if consuming this in England, with egg-yoke running down our chins we'd probably be berating the Americans for being obese.

I'm perfectly aware that this artery-hardening breakfast is not exactly the healthy option. And I certainly would not eat it every morning. Probably not even once a week. But as a rare treat, it's precisely that - a rare treat!

So, in the interests of full-disclosure, I should also point out this article from the Times of London.

A Bit of Fry and Pinter

Right now there's another Englishman in this country I've been following avidly: Stephen Fry. I've always liked Stephen's stuff, he's a darned clever fella, but on our most recent trip to England to spend time with my folks, I watched the first couple of episodes of his BBC series Stephen Fry in America. My only regret was that he was not able to spend more time in each place. For example, his coverage of my adopted home state of New Jersey was limited to visiting a casino in Atlantic City.

Having recently started using Twitter myself, I was pleased to find Mr. Fry was an avid Twitterer. Not only that, but he's been spending the holiday season here in the States. He's been pretty much Tweeting a running commentary of his time first in New York, then on the West Coast. He's been sending photos of his travels. He visited Saturday Night Live to watch his friend and comedy-partner Hugh Laurie guest-host the show.

And he's been busy. He judged a competition to come up with original or the best Wildean remarks on December 1st, designated Oscar Wilde Day. He covered a hotel room in computers, telephones and cables to write a comparative review of smartphones. But he's been apologizing for spending so much time walking and shopping.

Go visit his website if you get a chance. Entertaining and interesting.


Finally, like Stephen, I was saddened to hear of the loss of English playwright and activist Harold Pinter to cancer on Christmas Eve. The writer of such classics as "The Birthday Party", "The Caretaker" and "Betrayal", his only serious rival was Samuel Beckett. He'll be missed.

Christmas Controversies

Having enjoyed a wonderful Christmas at my Mother-in-Law's house in Michigan, with my Brother-in-Law's family as well as my Wife and Daughter, I felt the need to write a little about some of the differences between Christmas in the US and Christmas in the UK. I think it's important to state that I find there to be more similarities than differences, especially with my Wife's family, who go out of their way to embrace British traditions as a way of making me feel welcomed. In addition, I've discovered (as is often the case) that what I've been accepting as UK/US differences are often simply differences between families. More on that later.

I guess one of the biggest differences is that, generally speaking, the big guy with the red suit and white beard is referred to as Santa Claus in the US, while most of the time Brits refer to him as Father Christmas. My American family was eager to try the British tradition of Christmas Crackers, complete with awful jokes and paper hats we all had to wear for extra humiliation at the table. And the meal we had yesterday was a lovely joint of roast beef, while British Christmas dinner, again generally speaking, consists of turkey (Turkey usually being consumed in the US for Thanksgiving). In England, I'd also usually be eating Christmas Pudding, that gloriously fruity, alcoholic, heavy steamed sponge, and a slice of Christmas Cake, just to ensure that I was incapable of movement the rest of the day. And I'm writing this article on what in Britain we'd call Boxing Day, December 26th, traditionally the day that employers would give leftover gifts to their servants and employees. Yes, "re-gifting" is nothing new!

So, on to more controversial stuff. What do we leave Father Christmas/Santa Claus on Christmas Eve? In my house it was always a mince pie (a sweet pastry filled with what is called "mincemeat", which these days contains no meat), together with a glass of sherry and a carrot for the reindeer. My Wife's family believe that milk and cookies are the generally accepted gift in the US. But a rather unscientific poll I conducted showed some rather interesting results. One old schoolfriend from England was a little conflicted on the matter. Since drinking and driving is such a big issue, her family had started leaving out a cup of hot chocolate; however, another schoolfriend had advised her that Rudolph was now the one who drives, so Father Christmas will once more be finding a glass of brandy. And then there were three American friends of mine who in turn were leaving:

1. Freshly baked sugar and chocolate chip cookies and hot apple cider with spiced rum
2. Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale
3. Baileys Irish Cream

I'm not sure whether this says more about globalization, or my friends! I do know that my Mother-in-Law bought mince pies, sherry and a huge carrot, so we could do things the way I had always done them. My daughter was also delighted to discover that everything she'd left had gone on Christmas morning, apart from the last bite or two of the carrot; according to the note Santa left, the reindeer each took a bite, but it was so huge, they couldn't manage it all.

A Christmas Dedication

My Wife has until now not been aware that I started this blog. Yet, if it hadn't been for her, there would be no blog. So, on this Christmas Day, instead of a regular entry, I dedicate An Englishman In New Jersey to my wonderful Wife, B. This is not just my story, it's our story. Happy Christmas!