The British Connection - An Interview

Pretty much any expat, whatever country they originally come from, will find themselves craving an item from "home." Fortunately, there are enterprising individuals who see the opportunity in supplying such items. The British Connection is a store in Absecon, New Jersey, run by Dave Brown, an expat originally from London, and his American Wife Barbara. After running their store in Historic Smithville Village for seven years, they moved about a year ago to the new location, where they have been able to expand their business, adding a large selection of cheeses and a small cafe. Barbara very kindly allowed me to bombard her with questions.


With an entertainment background, Dave first met Barbara when he was running a karaoke night in London. After he tried to drag her up on stage with him, she thought he was "a bit cheeky, but called him anyway." They came to the US to pursue entertainment opportunities in the casinos in Atlantic City, NJ. Unfortunately, they found the casinos had been converting their lounges to slot-machine parlors. Making the best of it, they started an entertainment business, doing children's shows and parties. Barbara was, quite literally, a clown - also "Minnie Mouse, Cinderella...and a Teletubby." During a visit to Barbara's parents in Florida, her Mother suggested they visit a store called The Brit Shoppe. The couple "were amazed to find some of our foods we missed from the U.K.! Three months later, the British Connection was up and running!"

I asked Barbara about some of their own favorite British foods. Barbara said she loves HP Sauce and Branston Pickle, while "Dave is all about the chocolates and bacon!" On the question of "Marmite: Love it or Hate it?" they are the exception to the rule; they both "like" it. Asked whether there was something she'd like to explain to their customers, given the opportunity, Barbara said "it's o.k. to laugh at the spotted dick...everyone does!" One question that Barbara is often asked is why she hasn't got a British accent; Dave gets asked what part of Australia he comes from! Barbara believes that most of their customers are expat Brits, but she admitted, "maybe they just come in more often." One of the recent additions was a cafe area, where Barbara often relaxes and has a cup of tea and a chat with her regulars: "I have to say the people that come in are really wonderful and great conversationalists. Part of the reason that I created the cafe section was so that we could sit and have a cuppa."

When asked what they miss about life in England, it came as no surprise to me that Barbara mentioned pubs. Although they enjoy relaxing over a meal and drinks with friends, they don't have a favorite bar in the US, but they do have friends with pubs in the UK: "The Hare and Hounds in Godstone is good fun, and another friend in London owned a pub called Novello's in Fulham. She had an Elvis impersonator there 2 nights a week for 10 years, Brilliant!" I asked Barbara about how often they got to visit England: "Not as often as we would like. We try to get there once a year, but we do like to travel to other locales...so sometimes we miss a year. We usually have visitors every year - we keep the guest rooms ready!"

Have you visited the store? Do you have any favorite places to get international foods? Let me know.

My Name is Sue - How Do You Do!

While I like the idea of having an unusual name (and Graham is quite unusual in my adopted home here in the US), in practice, it can be very tedious. Mostly, because people here frequently misspell it, or mis-hear it. Very often, people think I've said "Brian," or they want to spell it "Gram," or "Grahm." It's so American to want to economize on the number of letters in a name. Perhaps it would benefit me to have an empowering name, such as "Stone," "Brett," "Brad," or perhaps the most empowering of them all, "Sue" (With a big nod to The Man In Black).

An Englishman in San Diego - Football and Beer

The family and I are currently vacationing in San Diego, California. My Wife was due to attend a conference here, so we decided to extend the trip and make a vacation (or a holiday, for the benefit of my British friends) of it.

One thing that may surprise some is how long it takes to get from one side of the USA to the other. We live on the East coast (New Jersey), and San Diego is on the West coast in California. It takes almost as long to fly from Newark Airport, New Jersey to San Diego, California (about 6 hours) as it takes to fly from New Jersey to London (about 7 hours).

There is also a three hour time difference, so while we arrived at our hotel at about 6pm local time, it felt like 9pm to us, so we were feeling pretty tired and hungry. The first thing we did was head for the hotel’s bar and grill, known as The Firefly.

I have written before about some of the responses I get when people hear my English accent. I got a rare one at The Firefly. The greeter, a small Mexican man, sat us at our table and after a bit of small talk while he was making us comfortable, turned to me and asked if I liked football. I had assumed he was talking about American football (which I generally refer to as “rugby for wimps” due to the wearing of all that body-armor), and thought he was going to offer to change the channel on the television to some big game. However, he had noticed my English accent, and was asking me whether I followed what they generally refer to here as soccer. I hated to disappoint the poor chap who, it turned out, was a big Manchester United supporter, but I have never really cared much for that game either. I figured that he probably did not get many opportunities to talk about British soccer with a real live Brit, so I tried my best to fake it a little. He seemed satisfied when I told him my home team was Luton Town, a team that once was moderately successful, but who I believe have not done that well in the years I have been in the US.

If this Englishman knows embarrassingly little about football, I do know a good pint when I taste it, and I was not disappointed with the selection of beers on tap. The Firefly prides itself on offering a good range of beers from local microbreweries, small independent companies handcrafting their own brews. If you are ever out here, I thoroughly recommend Red Trolley Ale, a red ale that I would describe as “hoppy and hearty.”

A New Jerseyan in England

I had a very interesting conversation via Twitter, the social networking site, over the weekend. I was talking with Debra Denton, known on Twitter as @debra47, an American woman married to an Englishman and living in England. In addition to us living in each other's countries (she also comes from New Jersey) and being married to a native, we have quite a few other things in common. She is also a blogger. Her blog is Power Pop Review. We both moved to another country to get married quite late in life. We also both met our spouses over the Internet because of a mutual love of music. As I have mentioned on this blog in the past, I met my Wife on the Internet discussion group for singer-songwriter Dar Williams. Debra met her husband on the now sadly defunct music site Audiogalaxy.

Our conversation began when a comment about wine evolved into a little conversation about single malt scotch, which I adore, but cannot really afford here in the US. Debra developed a taste after a tour of a whisky distillery a while back. What became the most interesting part of our conversation started when she asked me what I missed about England, apart from fish & chips and single malt scotch. I told her I missed my local pub. Of course, I might be missing it even if I was back in England. We talked about the alarming rate at which pubs in the UK are closing (at the time of writing, six pubs are closing each day). High beer prices and a recent ban on smoking in pubs seem to have resulted in most people deciding to stay at home. There they can smoke, drink cheap supermarket booze and watch their widescreen TVs.

Debra told me that what she misses most about New Jersey is being able to find a diner, with a huge, reasonably priced menu, open 24 hours a day. She believes that she is healthier since she moved to England, because she is able to walk much more than she was able to in New Jersey. Although my particular neighborhood is pretty walkable (I told her my family had walked to a new diner just the previous day, much to her surprise), much of New Jersey is not pedestrian-friendly. People get in their cars to drive a few blocks. On recent trips back to the US, Debra noticed that many "downtown" areas (town centres) have disappeared as large superstores appear on the outskirts of towns, pretty much sucking the heart out of them.

In my adopted hometown, Edison, New Jersey, many people work elsewhere, and only come back to Edison to sleep. With their long hours, there is no time to get involved in things going on locally. This is happening in the US and in the UK. Debra suggested that perhaps this lack of community is what has drawn both of us, along with many others, into Internet-based groups. I suggested that if more companies allowed their workers to telecommute when practical, it might help restore local communities because people would be around much more, and it would help the environment. Many employers fear that if they are not standing over their workers, they will waste time. However, I have found that telecommuting, with its lack of physical distractions, often results in increased productivity.

We discovered that we were both regularly asked, "Do you prefer it over here or over there?" We have the same answer too: "There's good and bad in both." We can both honestly say that there are things we love and dislike about our countries of birth and our adopted homes. We are caught between two cultures and we get the best and the worst of each.

We also both get comments about how our accents have not changed. Debra is asked a lot if she is a Canadian. I wondered if that was perhaps because people hoped she was not American, because in the UK, Americans have often been tarred with the "Bush brush." Debra says that she has certainly experienced some anti-Americanism, but that it seems to be subsiding since the election of President Barack Obama.

I have invited Debra to write a guest post in this blog, and she has said that she would love to. I think it would make an interesting counterpoint to my own posts here.

Are you living in a country other than the one in which you were brought up? Perhaps you have a friend in this situation. Please do post a comment and share your observations.

I Love Your Accent

In a comment she made about an earlier entry, my Wife said:

"When people hear Graham's accent generally one of two things happen: 1) They ask if he's from Australia; 2) They ask where he's from and he deadpans... "New Jersey. Can't you tell by the accent?"

Those are definitely common reactions that people have when they hear my accent. There are others too.

My accent is both a blessing and a curse, as they say. Mostly a blessing. Occasionally a curse. In true British fashion, I'll start with the negative. I recall chasing a "sales associate" around Target trying to get him to understand what I meant when I said I wanted "batteries." Again and again I carefully said the word. Again and again he said he had no idea what I wanted. I wondered whether there was a different word that Americans used - I was sure there was not. I pronounced it carefully and slowly. Still no luck. In the end, my Wife took pity on me, and said the word "batteries" - I swear she said it exactly the same as I had done, but magically, we were shown where the batteries were kept. This kind of thing happens from time to time, and it can be frustrating.

But mostly, my accent is a good thing. It gets me noticed, and in a good way. It opens doors, and sometimes gives me an unfair advantage. For some reason, unlike many other accents, an English accent sounds very attractive to American ears. They seem to think it indicates sophistication. For the record, my accent, from my home town of Luton , is quite similar to a London accent, and to English ears is more likely to be associated with lack of education - certainly not sophisticated.

But over here, many people go to great lengths to tell me how much they love my accent, and I've heard similar things from other expat Brits I've encountered here. I've had people in stores - and before my Wife chimes in and points this out, probably pretty equally divided between women and men - cooing over my accent, telling me they could listen to me talk all day.

When I first moved over here, I often would pick up on an English accent if I heard someone in the vicinity. One of the first expats I met over here was a gentleman who has made a career out of recording talking books for the blind. Apparently, they really love their stories read with an English accent. I remember him recommending that I try doing this myself some time.

But these days, my Wife is more likely to hear a British accent than I am. I've become quite deaf to the differences between American and British accents. As for my own accent, people over here say that my accent has not changed. My Wife thinks (and I agree) that whenever I talk to family back home, which I do most Sundays, my accent gets even more pronounced. Occasionally, the folks back home think that I'm sounding more American.

As an added bonus, I thought I'd share this lovely resource with you: How to Speak in a British Accent

How did you two meet?

When I start talking with someone for the first time and they hear my accent, the first question they usually ask is "Where do you come from?" The second is "What brings you over here?", to which I usually answer "My Wife." The third question is usually "How did you two meet?" So in true American TV series style, here's a quick summary:

Previously in Graham's Life.....

Graham inexplicably develops a taste for English folk music, regularly going to folk festivals, such as The Cambridge Folk Festival, where one year he hears a new American singer-songwriter called Dar Williams. He starts listening to American Folk Music and joins the Dar List, an e-mail based discussion group for fans of Dar Williams. He starts posting on a fairly regular basis. He receives an e-mail one day from an American woman living in New Jersey commenting on something he'd posted to the list. Let's call her "B." Graham and B start e-mailing each other on a fairly regular basis, and a friendship ensues.

In these pre-IM/Chat-room days, Graham decides to start an IRC channel, so that like-minded fans can get together on Friday nights and chat. Despite it being a lively place, Graham and B often find themselves still chatting with each other through the night and into the morning. Something is going on here.

One Friday evening on IRC, with only Graham and a New Zealander still around, B mentions that she has a spare ticket for a local folk concert, and jokingly wonders if anyone wants to come with her. Graham calls her bluff and says sure....